Hopeful.
The National Haitian Church declared that today, Saturday, February 13th, is national prayer day in Haiti. Our team attended two prayer services. These services were very eventful and packed. In fact, there were more than 6000 people at the 2nd service. The Haitian people were in such a worshipful mood. During the sermon, an elderly woman started to violently shaking and screaming “hallelujah…..hallelujah” for a few minutes. It was intense and awesome. There is no doubt God’s spirit is definitely doing a redemptive act in the lives of the Haitian people.
Stunted.
During our last stop we visited a rural tent village. We were encouraged to enter the tent community and talk to the residents. I met a family of a mom, dad, and a daughter. The family invited me into their tent and I noticed that the daughter was lying in bed with a huge leg cast on her left leg. Her story is that when the earthquake hit, she was sleeping and debris fell on her leg, which broke her left femur. She had to wait two weeks until she received medical help. I was really impressed because she was in high spirits and constantly smiling at me. However her mother was not. Her mother kept repeating…. “What will the local church do to help? We need help. We need strong and stable housing and more food supply.” In addition, she was extremely scared because rain season is right around the corner, which means that their sheet tent cannot withstand the rain. And to make it worse her daughter’s leg cast cannot be wet, or it will be ruined. Her mother was hurt and hopeless. She wanted answers immediately. She was wanted the American young male to save the day by fixing all her of pain and problems. What was I suppose to do? What was I suppose to say? I sensed and started to carry her HEAVY HEAVY pain. I made sure not to make any promises about the future, but I certainty prayed with and for her.
My tension: I wear my emotion of my sleeve. My personality is ENFJ. I am a feeler, so I felt this mother’s heavy burden today; and I cannot shake it off of me. I simply cannot do it. It is like I got tagged (really really hard) on the chin, and I am TKO’ed. I cannot get up. I have a hard time letting it go and putting it in God’s hands I think
I am moving from observing to engaging the Haitian destruction. Currently, as I try to get back up…I am reminding myself of the 2nd church service, where 6000+ Haitian people were flooding the streets to worship the name of Jesus. 
© 2010, Jeremy Zach. All rights reserved.
Praying for you. Praying, too, that she sensed you taking on her pain and that her burden is now lighter with someone to share it with.
Keep feeling….keep feeling as deeply as you can. It’s so easy to forget in a few months, but the deeper you allow this to embed in your heart, the longer it will stay with you.
Glad to have you on this team.
Psalm 56:8 says, “You have taken account of my wanderings ; Put my tears in Your bottle. Are they not in Your book ?”
In the midst of suffering, chaos, and unspeakable pain, remember that it is God’s job to hold the burden. He forgets our sins to the ends of the earth, but I think it is amazing to picture God hanging on to every tear, every hopeless thought and cry. He is holding all of the suffering close to His heart.
You are seeing with God’s heart and God’s eyes as you allow that pain to penetrate your being. Don’t forget to see God’s hope in the midst, remembering that he sees and is in the midst of it all. Love you.