Why do I(the student) have to attend church?

Answer:

1. Students think they can follow Jesus without attending church.

Somewhere along the line students bought into the idea that I can be a devoted follower of Christ and skip out on church.  If our students don’t attend church now, they never will!  This is problematic at both the spiritual development and theological level.

2. Students going to church has a lot of Biblical support–kind of a major point.

One may think this is not a theological question, but a practical question.  Students do not want to go to church because it is “boring” or not “relevant”.  I disagree this question is entirely theological and should not consider how students feel towards church.  This question strictly deals with how youth ministries address ecclesiological matters.  Jesus tells Peter He will build His Church on this rock (Matthew 16.18).  Basically Jesus thinks the Church is a big deal because He directly gives Peter the Church’s construction plans. Also students really matter to Jesus.  For some reason, Jesus deeply cares about children and teenagers (Mark 10).  So it would make sense Jesus loves having students involved and participating in church.

3. Students need to value  being in “big church”.

Youth pastors need to encourage students to attend “big church”.  Big church is intimating for students.  It mainly consists of adults who do not give a rip about some punk teenager.  Big church gathers regularly for preaching/teaching and worship, observe the biblical sacraments of baptism and communion, are unified by the Spirit, are disciplined for holiness, and are empowered to be missionaries to their town and to the world for God’s glory and redemption.  Our students need to learn how to love each aspect of what the church is.  I think the problem is…. many youth pastors underplay these marks of the church because we don’t think they work.  Or we don’t think they are fun or students will not like them.  In Nehemiah 8 Ezra preaches from daybreak to noon (Nehemiah 8.3).  Nehemiah does not record any of the teenagers complaining to their parents that Ezra is boring and preached for too long.

The sooner students  assimulate into the church body the better off they will be.

4. Some students may like Church, but don’t like your church.

I think it is perfectly okay to let other students attend other churches.  It is difficult as their youth pastor to encourage them to attend a bigger and better church down the street.  More youth pastors need to be Kingdom-minded.  Trust me, if a student enjoys another church, do Jesus a favor and let him/her attend.  I think it is our job as youth pastors to get students plugged into church, which may mean suggesting other churches that are a better fit for your student.  Plus, our students will most likely not be in the same church setting they grew up in, especially when they enter their college or adulthood years.

5. Some students may need a church time out.

If a student does not desire to attend church, they may need a break.  Granted, use some discernment and don’t be giving students a hall pass every time a student complains about church.  It can be very healthy allowing students to take a break so they can re-evaluate why they attend church.  Give permission for students to skip a few weeks of church if they are angry, bitter, or frustrated with church.  We don’t want church to be a chore and painful.  Give students clear boundaries when giving them a leave.  Make sure to have a follow up plan, if they do decide to take a break.  I found that if you give students a little room of freedom, it can have great benefits to their spiritual development process. Make sure you talk to their parents before dismissing them from church.

6. Always refer to the parent.

Parents have the final answer to the question of:  Mom or dad do I have to go to church?  Some parents make church mandatory and others make it optional.  Personally I think church should be mandatory for students who are in 6th-10th grade.  When a student enters 11th grade, he/she should start making their own decisions while they have a support system already in place.  If the student decides not to attend church, he/she needs to articulate why this is the best decision.  By the way “sleeping in” does not count.

7. Praying, corporately and privately, for our teens’ church attendance.

It is a constant battle raising up our students according to God’s way.  It is tough following Jesus as a jr high and high school student.  Getting teens to church is tough.  By fearlessly praying for our teens church involvement will empower and protect our students and families as they live out the Christian life in and out of the church context.  Essentially as youth pastors we need to be praying Ephesians 6.1-4 and 6.10-13 over our students and families every Sunday.

** If you want read all 10 of the Top Ten Theological Questions Teens Ask click here

Youth pastors are notorious for sticking their foot in their mouth.  Youth pastors blow it a lot.

09. Mis-budgets youth ministry events

It seems like youth pastors are not very great with money, so we can never make a dime when putting on an event.  Some how if a youth pastor is planning an activity, they will lose money.  If you are youth pastor great at accounting, please contact me.

08.  Don’t take their critics seriously

9 out of 10 times if someone does not like us or our youth ministry strategy, we write them off.  We get very angry at them and say a lot of unChristian stuff about their lazy student and their bad parenting.  You can still say that stuff, but do it in a safe place and give them a call asking them why they don’t like you.  At times this can be really unproductive and regardless what you say/do they will still not like you.    Getting mad is fine, just don’t sin. 

07.  Love students, don’t love God

Students don’t need anymore “friends”.  They actually really don’t want your friendship.  They need more adults passionately following Jesus.  Some times youth pastors reverse the greatest commandment:  Love People, Love God. 

06.  Adores their youth ministry mission and vision statement

Youth pastors love showing off their youth ministry value statement.  Students don’t really care about your fancy-pithy vision statement.   

05.  Neglects the value of church

Many youth pastors alienates their youth ministry from church.  It is really hard working the bigger church.  It is soo much easier doing things by ourselves.  Things get done quicker and more efficient.  However Scriptures clearly commands the youth ministry department to get along with big church.

04.  Underestimates adult leader recruitment

Again, youth pastors like to fly solo.  Why waste so much energy developing leaders? It is difficult hearing NO from someone we know will be a great youth leader.  It seems like the people who want to really help, are only wanting to help for selfish reasons.  My advice:  keep asking and praying God bring you more leaders.  

03.  Doesn’t pursue and cultivate a relationship with senior pastor/senior leadership

Our assumption:  Senior pastors do not have time for youth pastors, so why should youth pastors pursue a relationship?  We are the children, so why should we seek a relationship with our parents?  Well…. because it will drastically help at a personal connection  level with your boss and establish a synergy within the staff.

02.Does not serve the good of the community and school

Youth ministries enjoy staying inhouse.  A youth ministry can become a lot more complacent within it is inward focused.  Give a call up to your local school and ask them what their needs are.  Your students spend more time on the school campus then they do on your church campus.  If your students are spending more time on your church campus, you have bigger problems to worry about.

01. A constant refining of character

Not enough youth pastors take a long and deep look inside their soul.  Many are not feeding their soul.  Some youth pastors jump from job to job wondering why they have the same problems with church?  Honestly youth pastors typically come with  a lot of personal baggage.  Constantly refining and developing your character is the best investment as a youth pastor.  Always ask the question of:  How am I changing–in my theology?  as a husband?  as a church leader? as an individual? Character is everything. As youth pastors we need to take seriously our sanctification process.  Read a lot and take personal retreats…. heck even get a Christian psychologist.  Youth ministry is too damaging for one’s soul, so we need to enroll others to help us navigate the youth ministry trenches and our own issues.  Far too many times, we let our personal issues get in the way of how we do youth ministry and how we do life.  If we don’t value our own sanctification process, youth pastors tend to get more angry, cynical, and bitter at church.  Youth pastors blame their church, when they should be blaming themselves.

I am stating 5 problems that may be transpiring in the youth ministry world.  I am not claiming to have the answers, I am merely laying out my observations.  It is my goal to identify the problems, so I can begin to clarify solutions.

1.  Weak Youth Ministry Ecclesiology

Many youth pastors  have a difficult time connecting, participating, and assimilating into the church body.  Our students dislike the big church feel– for multiple reasons.  The church and youth ministry must be fused together. It is pointless to do youth ministry in isolation of the church. Somehow our youth ministries must play very well with the “big” church.  Value the church and  intentionally work with the church in order to make students fully devoted followers of Jesus.  Our youth ministries must fit the larger vision and mission of the church body.

2.  Limited teaching on other world religions

It is becoming more and more common for students to have friends of different religions.  For example, Islam is rapidly evangelizing the world and it is growing at a fast pace.  Islamic influence is slowly starting to saturate American culture.  Our students need to know how to talk about other religions.  It is unproductive when our students start talking down about other religions.  Especially when they are uninformed.  It is not good when it becomes  “us” vs. “them”.  Focus on the similarities and become more ecumenical.  I see more youth ministries teaching students the fundamentals of other religions while also educating how to respect and admire them.  You may find it odd when you realize that you don’t know much about the other religions.  I found myself having to read a lot of the other holy books.

3.  The Gospel(Sin, Redemption, Jesus, Cross, Freedom, Forgiveness)  is extremely foreign to youth culture

This is a problem, but I think it is a major advantage.  When the gospel becomes normative, it becomes comfortable and popular.  Oscar Wilde stated:  Everything popular is wrong.  Jesus was not popular and didn’t  preach an easy-feel good message.  He actually stated the exact opposite.  The pearly gates are very narrow.  Getting kids to acknowledge they are screwed up and that Jesus restores life; is really an unique message that they will not hear anywhere else in their life.  The difficulty is “persuading” kids why Jesus matters and that He is the only way.  I am finding more and more that students don’t have a basic understanding of who Jesus is and what He is really about.  It is a bummer, but cool at the same time.  I think this is why the gospel right here and now is very powerful and counter-cultural.    

4.  Hurried Evangelism

Youth ministries are excited to get kids saved.  However the transition from evangelism to discipleship is tough.  My good friend Dan Haugh says it well:  It starts with many-many intentional Jesus conversations before the conversion.  What if youth pastors started with discipleship?  What if youth ministry totally skipped evangelism as the 1st step?  I think if we can educate and get our students to experience God before they accept Jesus, they will most likely latch onto their faith in a more deep and real way.  The students will be able to test drive the car and know what they are getting themselves into before they sign on the dotted line.  I am arguing that discipleship is the new evangelism.  Please don’t misinterpret me.  I still strongly believe in evangelism. I think it should appear later in the game.  In the gospels, Jesus never asked His disciples to believe in Him right away as the 1st step.  He only required them to follow Him.  Essentially experiencing and knowing God can possibly produce a student who wants to deeply and fully desire and believe in God.  Granted our youth ministries may be a little bit smaller…but deeper.

5.  Youth pastors are not teaching students how to critical think

It is so easy to teach students what to think and teach them the “principles”.  Coaching students how to think is a difficult task because they need to swing to extremes in order to develop a healthy worldview.  Youth pastors need to feel really encouraged when a well churched student says:  I cannot feel God and I don’t believe in Him anymore.  Youth pastors should not freak out, but rather help the student ask the right questions.  There is not a better time to provide a support and structure than in mid to late teenage years.  If youth pastors can build a supportive structure in their youth ministry programming, then students will open up and feel safe to say what nobody else is willing to share.  The sooner we can get students to doubt and question their faith, the more sustainable their faith will be.

What other problems are youth ministries experiencing? I want to hear what other struggles youth pastors are encountering….

I get this question a lot:  Jeremy how do I become a youth pastor?  Obviously becoming a youth pastor is an unique calling that entails a difficult and different process on how to land a youth pastor job.  In this post, I assume that one’s contemplation in becoming a youth pastor is constantly bathed in prayer.

1.  Start serving in your local youth ministry.

If you have an itch to enter the youth ministry field start volunteering your time and services in a local youth ministry.  Volunteer to clean the bathrooms after youth group, set up before  youth group, and do the odd jobs no one wants to do.  It is essential you serve behind the scenes before you get the microphone.  Make sure to pay close attention to the youth pastor.  Watch his/her every move and ask a lot of questions as you are scrubbing the toilet.

2.  Enter into a small leadership role.

After you have served in the youth ministry for a bit, start leading a small group.  It is imperative you begin to hone your leadership skills and abilities.  Identify what you are good at and what you suck at.  Meet regularly with the current youth pastor.  Be his/her wing man, trying to glean from his/her expertise and method.

3.  Go to a secular public university.

I highly suggest the youth pastor candidate receive their degree from a public university.  It drives me nuts when I run into youth pastors who were home schooled and went to a private Christian college to major in Bible and Youth Ministry.  I strongly argue that youth pastors will need to be well versed in the world’s culture to lead the next generation of teenagers.  It is not helpful if the youth pastor has spent all his/her time in a safe and comfortable Christian bubble attending “Christian Only Colleges”.  The biggest assets to becoming a great youth pastor is getting diverse youth ministry experience in different geographical locations and having a strong ability ministering to kids you are not comfortable ministering to.  Another disadvantage about attending a Christian college and majoring in Christian ministries will have no relevance outside of the church/Christian organizations.  There is a great value in hearing lectures from hard core atheist who hate the Bible.  In the public university, there is a social-psychology that future youth pastors need to be exposed to.  It is one thing to be cool at a Christian college, but it is another thing to be cool in a public university.  I have seen countless times a Christian ministries major get burned by the Church and they are stuff with a Bible degree in the real secular world.  I encourage a lot of my students to attend a public university and major in that can be easily used in the real world, namely Business, psychology, biology, engineering, journalism, and philosophy.  Maybe one day the youth pastor might not be paid by the church and may need a tent making skill.

4.  Intern

Find an internship preferably in a geographic location you are unfamiliar with.  Being a youth intern will give you the exposure and experience in order to land your first youth pastor job.  Remember experience is everything.  Do everything, even if you suck at it.  In your internship face your fears.  Make sure to leave a lot of room to contemplate, reflect, and to pray about your internship experience.  Ask these questions:

*  What type of church do I want to youth pastor?  Consider denomination, size, personality, theology, values.

*  What is the hardest thing for me to do in youth ministry?

*  What type of students do I attract?

*  What theological questions do I still have about being a follower of Christ?

*  Do Church politics bug me?  Do I tend to get heavily involved in them?  Or do I hate them?

*  Am I administratively strong?

*  Do I feel comfortable preparing a youth talk?

5.  Study, Read, Learn, and Retreat

Before entering your first youth ministry job, it would be wise to start constructing your theological values.  Where do you land theologically?  What camps do you find yourself resonating with more?  It may be helpful to start looking at seminaries and attending part time.  Simply get a great theological foundation under you before you fully enter the youth ministry trenches.  Remember our theology always shapes our methodology.

6.  Get Amped and Apply!

Interested in looking for youth ministry jobs click here.  Make sure to write a great resume and cover letter.  Also, ask 2 or 3 people to write you a great recommendation.  Start gathering past youth talks, youth studies you developed, and write your youth ministry philosophy.  Trust me looking for a youth ministry or youth pastor job takes a long time.   Be patient and make sure to utilize your friends and networks.  It is not what you know, but who you know!

If you are wanting to take the next step, please consider going through my youth pastor candidate application process.  I love connecting churches with youth pastor candidates and connecting youth pastor candidates with churches.  Click here to find out more about how to become a youth pastor at a church.

Last, I would love to keep connected with you as you continue to investigate your call to youth ministry. So if you want to get fresh weekly updates from REyouthpastor.com please subscribe below:

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