Bonhoeffer believed that all theology, ministry, and faith begins with the question, “Who?” Who are you?  Who is this Jesus of Nazareth?  Who is this one who heals?  Who teaches with authority?  Who is this?

The incarnation is how God did ministry, so this is how we should do youth ministry.  When we practice relational youth ministry in the who, we enter deeply into theology.  We search to discover who God is, who God is calling us to be, and to whom we are called to go.

When we fall into practicing relational youth ministry in the how, we become programmers or service providers, seeking to find the best model, angle, idea, or event that matches some idealized, frozen form of ministry.

The incarnation is the invitation to join God as God enters the lives of adolescents seeking to discover and support the distinct who that they are in their suffering and joy.  The incarnation means that God has taken on humanity in its fullest, meaning we are free to be human.  Place sharing with others is the invitation to join in the lives of others, to mutually open our humanity up to the other so we together might be known, and in our togetherness know the Creator, who (we confess) has become one of us by tenting with us.

The goal of youth ministry is to be human beings who seek to be human with and for others in the power of God who has become human for us all.

© 2010, Jeremy Zach. All rights reserved.

Chapter 3:  Relational Ministry As Place-Sharing

Place-sharing instead of Influence

1.  A relational youth ministry of place-sharing means standing in for the full person of the adolescent.

Relational youth ministry of place-sharing, the point is to stand in for the adolescent, to stand fully in his or her place. Bonhoeffer held strongly to the position that God in Christ shares our place and we then are called to do the same.

2.  A relational youth ministry of place-sharing means “to suffer with”.

Youth pastors that open their own humanity to student, making the students’ suffering their suffering.  Never turn away from students’ suffering but stare it down, invite them to present it to you so that you might know and be with them, not outside it but within it.

3.  A relational youth ministry of place-sharing is a richer picture of the incarnation and the koinonia of the Trinity.

Both Dietrich Bonhoeffer and Karl Barth assert that “Jesus Christ is the man who is for others.”  The Trinity point ways from themselves by representing the others.  The beauty about the doctrine of the Trinity is that it is three persons in one essence so there is no hiding, secrets, gossip, but real and raw relationship.

© 2010, Jeremy Zach. All rights reserved.

Chapter 2:  Why Relational Youth Ministry Can’t Be About Influence

Why relational youth ministry cannot be about influence?  Andrew Root gives youth pastors 4 reason:

1.  it would use relationships as a means to another end (p.33)

-Do we have a point going into a relationship that dictates the direction of the relationship?

2. the person isn’t important; only that person’s decision is (p.37)

-If we only care about decisions, we’ll easily ignore how complicated human life can be.

3.  the incarnation of Jesus Christ has nothing to do with influence (p.39)

-it is about suffering with them.

4.  the koinonia of the Trinity is not about influence (p.41)

-the Trinity is a view of the community of the Godhead.  It is a picture of each person of the Godhead sharing in the life of the other two.

Root believes youth ministers need to deconstruct the influential model and  rebuild a deep relational youth ministry paradigm.

© 2009 – 2010, Jeremy Zach. All rights reserved.

Chapter 1:  What Relational Youth Ministry Is Not

Youth ministry does not use “relationships” for instrumental and influential purposes.  A truly relational relational youth ministry longs to understand the dreams, jobs, pains, and fears of each adolescent.  Root debunk this notion of: “relationships are a more effective tool than programs to get youth committed to the church and its faith.  Relationships are what grow a ministry.  (p.24)

How do youth workers influence a group of teenagers when they return your favor of a burger and a ride by tagging your car windows with rival gang signs?  How do you influence teenagers who refuse your care?  (p.15)

The Typical Youth Ministry Formula: (p.24)

Program does NOT equal Influence

Relationships = Influence

Therefore:  Relationships + Influence = Growth of the Youth Ministry

Have youth pastors convinced adolescents to be who they really want to be?  Have we tried so hard to change them that we have abandoned their dreams, desires, needs, pains, joys, wounds, ideas, and energy?

Reflections:

*  Aristotle argues that there are means to an end.  Obviously the youth ministry end is to point them towards Jesus.  But would it be okay to say some youth pastor use baptisms, programs, invite nights, & flat screen TVs as a means to get the students to view or taste the end?

*  Relationships are about needs.  So as a youth workers, is it fair to say we must abandon our ministerial needs and desires?  If this is true, youth pastors will need to get over numeric growth and talking about their “conversions”.  Dan Haugh said it best:  It is more about conversations, than conversions.

*  I know for me, relationships tend to happen in seasons.  Students seem to be always changing (body, schedules, hair style, friends, music, grades) so at times my relationship with them is very strong and at other times it is very distant.  For me, it seems like Relational Youth Ministry Is Very Seasonal.  Some times I have a lot of students who call me back and there are many times where I get ignored, which means I have to do budgets, teaching prep, and actually attend staff meetings.

*  It seems like one youth worker can really only invest in 3 to 5 “unfiltered relationships” at a time.  This why it is essential for adult leader recruitment.

*  If there is a relationship there will automatically be an unintentional or intentional influence transpiring.  If a youth pastor has a name, personality, a cool t-shirt, sunglasses, and an opinion, there will be an influence.  So does a youth pastor need to be so self-aware of his/her agendas to know when he/she is being influential?  How does one know when he or she is abusing the relationship?

My Confession:  When I first started out in youth ministry, I would only go for the jocks because 1) I was really comfortable talking to jocks and 2) I knew jocks had influence.  There is just no arguing with a big football player.  However when I moved to Pasadena, CA my youth group had absolutely no jocks.  I think God wanted to teach me something.  It was filled with skaters, punks, smart teens, emo kids, and students that actually hated sports.  These students were not intimated by the jocks.  They actually thought they were cooler than them.  I was really uncomfortable.  Although my time at this church I really learned from them.  I started befriends students I would never befriend.  They started really teaching me about their world and why they enjoy the things they do.  To be honest, I grew to really love these students.  It was really awkward because I would hang out with them and I would be wearing name brand clothes and my hair would be slick backed; and they would rip me a new one every time.  My point:  I have grown to really appreciate the students cluster I would not normally be attracted to.  So I would consider myself a better youth worker because I can (well… kind of) enter a few non-jock student clusters.

© 2009, Jeremy Zach. All rights reserved.

Every month REYouthPastor.com will featured a youth ministry book.  This month’s book is:  Relationship Unfiltered by Andrew Root.

Please feel free to view each chapter summary:

Chapter 1 2 3 4 5  6  7  8  9

© 2009 – 2010, Jeremy Zach. All rights reserved.