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Dealing with a highly emotional and worrisome mother is a pain in the butt. What does a youth pastor do when the overly sensitive mom comes to you begging for you to perform your magic, so her son/daughter will fall in love with Jesus? Why do youth pastors interact more with mothers than they do with fathers?

Youth Pastor Skills 501: Dealing With Needy Moms

mommyDealing with a highly emotional and worrisome mother is a pain in the butt.  What does a youth pastor do when the overly sensitive mom comes to you begging for you to perform your magic, so her son/daughter will fall in love with Jesus?  Why do youth pastors interact more with mothers than they do with fathers?  Seriously think about that.

Three types of Needy Moms:

Emotional needy married mom//Paris//

This type of mom has an emotional breakdown at least once a week about the lack of connectedness to her children.  They call you constantly on your phone and they verbally throw up on you about how her son:  Timmy does not listen to her anymore.  She is sad and does not know why her son/daughter does not want to hang out with her anymore.  Some times her husband is not emotionally and spiritually available to the family.  This mom will want to be deeply involved in the youth ministry for ulterior motives.

Hyper-spiritual mom//Ester//

This mom does not have a healthy picture of what true spirituality is.  This mom easily worries about her child’s spiritual walk if they make one bad decision.  This mom will always be suggesting certain “events” and “programs” the youth ministry needs to do.  This mom thinks they know more about youth ministry than you do.  This mom makes to tell you that her child pray every night and before every meal.  9/10 times her kids don’t have a clue about fashion or worldly things.  Why?  because their controlling mother has protected her children from everything.

Hyper anxiety single mom//Sandy//

This mom will haunt you down after every church service begging for you to contact their son/daughter.  The mom feels inadequate, hopeless, and helpless.  This mom is ashamed of her martial status and her inaduacies as a single parent.  This mom will force her kids to church.

Strategies on how to handle Needy Moms:

1.  Listen..Listen…

2.  Affirm….Affirm

3.  Let the emotions run their course, then speak truth

4.  Set strong and concrete boundaries.  Never give your cell phone number. Train them on the best ways to contact you.

5.  Delegate.  If a dad is available, make sure to get dad involved.  If no dad, refer them to a few great parents who can offer up great parenting advice.

6.  Pray with them.  The best advice I can offer is:  Pray with them and ask for God to come alongside them.

About Jeremy Zach

Orange XP3 Specialist | Youth Worker | MDIV | Hot Sauce Addict | Dr. Dre Beats Lover

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