Pornography is a deep and complex issue. There are an estimated 18-22 million male and female sex addicts in America today, and the average American teen is exposed to over 14,000 sexual images and messages every year through our mainstream media. This is the new reality (Porn University).
The bummer… Pornography is only getting worst.
Bottom line: I think youth pastors are doing a dis-service when we provide forums on how to dodge/avoid the pornography problem. I say we accept it for what it is, address it, get help, and stop doing it.
Romans talks about how we have to HATE what is EVIL. If we want to change, we have to HATE pornography! I am talking about we have to really hate it.
In order to conquer a problem, you need to know what the landscape of the problem looks like. To beat your enemy, you have to know your enemy inside and out. One way to really familiarize yourself with your porn problem is to ask a lot of questions. For example, What is it that attracts you soo much? Why do we aggressively go after it? Where is this corrupt desire coming from? When am I most likely to look?
The goal is to stare right at your enemy and to reject and to rebuke it. See once you are able to drop kick the porn monster right in the face you know you have defeated it.
Pornography is not a compartmentalized problem. You don’t only look at porn when you are hungry, tired, angry, or lonely. Pornography has infiltrated every aspect of our lives whether you have a computer software program or not. We should not be scared of the pornography industry.
Youth pastors need to directly deal with pornography (whether you are looking at it or not). The reality is that there is this deep longing to “look” at pornography and pornography is around us 24/7. Seriously, there is a reason why the pornography industry is a multi-billion dollar business. Unfortunately, the industry is offering a cheap fix to pseudo meet our sexual desire.
We have to overcome pornography, and we cannot let it overcome us.
Steps to Recovery:
Please don’t go telling everyone you have the software so everyone automatically thinks you are spiritual.
2. Get a pyscho-therapist.
I am a big fan of therapy. It is a great idea to see a professional in the psyche. Unfortunately, our accountability cannot help us get through our problem without knowing how we think. Accountability groups our our support groups, our psychologists help our cognitive patters. Therapy challenges us to learn why and how we think. The goal is to become more self aware so you can be an expert in mastering your porn problem.
3. Emotional Mastery
Learn how to control your porn desires. Practice controlling your desire. Trust me we have the power to control our emotions. We give our emotions meaning. Do what Paul told us to do: self control.
4. Stop Doing it!
You have put in the work, now stop!
With every decision, conversation, gesture, comment, action, and attitude, we’re ushering heaven or hell to earth.
The bad news pornography is everywhere!
The good news is that Jesus conquered Evil and has given us the Holy Spirit to motivate us to control this deep desire.